


Variety Is The Spice Of Life.

by The_Lady_smaell



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: ALL of the Science!, Bots do not make good babysitters, Bruce and Tony are the Kings of oblivious, Cracky humour, Everyone has Daddy issues., General Insanity., JARVIS is Awesome, Multi, Nefarious sassy and BAMFy Pepper, Someone gets turned into a kid, Swearing, The Author Regrets Nothing, more swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-03 11:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1742780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Lady_smaell/pseuds/The_Lady_smaell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a lab accident turns one of the housemates of Avengers Tower into a five year old Tony thinks it is the Funniest. Thing. Ever! However he along with a hesitant Bruce are about to learn that children can be very hard work and very /very/ sneaky when they want something to happen. [Rated for language and potential smut (because IDK yet). Eventual Science Boyfriends]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Uh Oh!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I blame this entirely on Trumpeteer34 whose delightful story 'Sprout' just made me want to write some de-aged goodness. Of course, being me, I couldn't just be traditional though... I had to add my own twist.
> 
> Oh and some science boyfriends because I haven't written them for a while. ^_^
> 
> Disclaimer: I literally own nothing except the word order, so suck it copyright lawyers. *Sobs loudly*

Variety is the Spice Of Life.

Chapter One.

When asked about this entire 'situation' much, much later Tony would laugh coyly and shoot a few jokes Pepper's way.

Well at least he hoped he'd be able to.

Because right now the 'situation' was fucking terrifying him and that was not something he, Tony Stark; genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist readily admitted to. Beside him an equally bewildered Bruce Banner was staring wide eyed, a look of complete and utter terror plastered across his face as he took in the figure lying on the floor before him.

The very small figure. 

The frighteningly, impossibly small figure currently swathed in clothes at least five sizes too big. 

"Uh Tony... I don't think that's good." 

Honestly the physicist was the undisputed king of stating the obvious and Tony rolled his eyes.

"You think?" He retorted sharply, but without any real venom.

On the floor the small figure shifted slightly, letting out a soft moan as they stirred and both of the scientists suddenly panicked completely unsure of what they were going to do next. They stared at each other helplessly as a strawberry blonde head peeked out from the folds of expensive cloth, took a quick look around her surroundings and with her gaze landing on the two befuddled men in front of her screamed her bloody lungs out.

Both Tony and Bruce winced at the sheer pitch of the noise erupting from the small girls mouth, with the billionaire covering his (now ruptured he was certain) ears and the physicist rushing forward to try and calm the hysterical child. The young girl jumped backwards as Bruce advanced, clearly terrified at waking up in a strange place surrounded by strangers and the physicist held his hands up placatingly in a gesture of surrender.

"Pep... " The young girl looked confused at the name "...Er Virginia... I swear we're not going to hurt you." 

Bruce's voice was gentle, reassuring and Tony felt himself smile, his friend was just so damned good at this and he could already see Pepper, er Virginia (wouldn't that take some getting used to) starting to calm slightly. Big blue eyes glistened with unshed tears and teeth gnawed on a quivering lip and the physicist smiled softly at the young child bending down slowly to meet her eye level.

This proved to be costly.

A look stole over Virginia's face, one that Tony immediately recognized from her older counterpart and before he even had a chance to warn his friend the young Miss Potts's face had hardened and she had delivered a quick sharp kick to Bruce's shin, pelting to the other side of the lab and making a futile attempt to loosen an air conditioning panel. The billionaire couldn't help himself he burst into laughter earning himself a disgruntled glare from the other man and a bewildered look from the child.

"Oh, because that's so helpful right now." Bruce shot witheringly as another snort of laughter erupted from Tony's lips. 

Across the room the de-aged Pepper was still attempting to escape via air duct but was quickly coming to realise that she was trapped. Panic and an anger more pure and feral than Bruce had ever seen crossed the young face as the girl grabbed the closest wrench and began swinging wildly.

"Stay 'way or my daddy will come get you."

There was a slight rasp to Pepper's voice and the two scientists could see the adrenaline beginning to wind down, the youngster starting to slump under the heavy weight of the wrench. It was only a matter of time before the tool clattered to the floor and a weary looking Virginia darted into the nearest cupboard hiding herself from the two men.

"Well that went well." Tony commented idly, still somewhat amused at the situation.

Bruce narrowed his eyes and sighed wondering just how his friend could remain so calm considering his best friend and CEO of his company had just, somehow, been transformed into a five year old child.

"I think well is the overstatement of the millennium Tony." He retorted and the billionaire just sniggered.

"Oh Brucey you have literally zero sense of humour sometimes, tell me you can't see the irony of this? Pep's always being the grown up, the adult and now she's a kid you can't honestly tell me that you don't find this the slightest bit funny or aren't the least bit fascinated to see what a spitfire Miss Potts was as an ankle biter?"

The physicist wanted to say that no, he wasn't fascinated or amused thank you very much, wanted to say it so badly; but that would be a blatant lie and one Tony would be able to sniff out at a hundred paces (an uncanny ability he seemed to possess in regards to Bruce.) Even he could see the slight humour value of the situation and to say he wasn't intrigued about the science behind it would be like saying Nick Fury wasn't a lying liar that lies. However he'd rather saw off his own foot with a rusty razor than admit that to Tony, the man would be insufferable.

So instead he pinned the billionaire with a look and folded his arms across his chest in what he hoped was an authoritative manner, taking a leaf out of Pepper Potts' guide to wrangling Tony Stark and silencing him into cooperation. After few minutes though it appeared that Tony wasn't going to back down and Bruce let out a frustrated sigh as he unfolded his arms and threw up his hands in exasperation.

"Seriously Tony?"

The billionaire did nothing except flash his friend a bright slightly sardonic smile and Bruce could feel a migraine beginning to erupt, great, yet another thing to deal with; today was turning out to be just peachy.

"Sirs if I may interrupt." 

JARVIS's voice rang out clearly across the lab and snapped both men's attention to the ceiling, Tony with thinly veiled anticipation and Bruce with exasperation.

"Go ahead J."

The AI seemed to hesitate as if unsure of how to word his next sentence.

"Sirs, I believe Miss Potts is reaching a high level of distress and may require assistance."

Well fuck. Tony cursed under his breath the physicist had a look on his face that clearly screamed 'I told you so'.

"What's going on with her?"

"Her core body temperature appears to have dropped and she is exhibiting the first stages of shock."

This time it was Bruce who swore and stalked over to the door behind which the youngster had barricaded herself. Behind it he could hear the rapid shallow breaths and knew that this was really not a good thing but there was nothing he could do with her locked in a cupboard, that meant he was going to try and have to reason with her.

"Virginia please, you need to listen to me... You're going into shock and it's dangerous, please. You need to take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth."

There was a muted sob as the breaths slowed slightly.

"That's a good girl keep doing that..." Bruce turned his attention to Tony, eyes razor sharp "... Tony, do something."

The billionaire remained silent for a moment as he wracked his brain (because it was currently doing it's best 'fucked if I know' impression) in search of an idea and then, as if plucked from the very heavens above he got a master of an idea and quickly pulled out his StarkPhone texting a furious message to JARVIS. Within seconds there was the harsh tone of a phone ringing through the lab and Bruce looked up with mild surprise on his face.

"Answer it J."

"Mr Stark." Came a gruff voice, one that the physicist didn't recognise.

"Lieutenant Potts, good to hear from you." Tony answered trying not to sound smug.

There was a squeak from behind the closed door and a barely whispered 'daddy' that made Bruce want to simultaneously kiss and punch Tony for coming up with such an idea. The girl was still clearly frightened but the apparently familiar voice (and where Tony had gotten a voice print of Pepper's father he would never know) was helping her to calm more rapidly and he supposed that could only be a good thing.

"I was just ringing to see how my Ginny was doing, I know she can be quite a handful." 

The voice was somewhat stern and the physicist could hear the slight intake of breath from the child barricaded behind the door, as if she was expecting them to rat her out to her father. He had a sudden flash of memory, Betty talking about her childhood in a military household and while he was sure that Lieutenant Potts was no where near the level of General Ross, the fear of discipline and reprimand was strong in the young Pepper.

Knowing that Tony was probably about to put his foot in it big time he stepped in and spoke clearly so Pepper would hear him through the door and motioned furiously to the billionaire to Stay. Quiet.

"Everything is fine Lieutenant Potts, Virginia has been nothing but a lady." He lied, as Bruce's shin would certainly otherwise testify.

Tony looked like he wanted to burst out laughing again but remained silent at the almighty glare of death being thrown his way by his friend. He knew better than to push his luck right now. As much as he liked the Hulk, a visit from Jolly Green would not be useful right now that and it would be a complete bugger to explain to the child, especially as he was pretty sure he'd be deaf after she shrieked in surprise.

Oh the joys.

The fraudulent lieutenant continued speaking over Tony's internal monologue.

"Well that's good to hear Doctor Banner, I appreciate you and Mr. Stark taking Ginny in on such short notice while I complete my mission." 

"It's quite alright Sir." The billionaire replied in a sweet tone.

This time Bruce had to stifle a laugh, he'd never heard Tony call anyone Sir in all the time that he'd known him, it was especially ironic since it was in fact his own creation that he was addressing and he was sure that the AI was laughing behind his speakers.

There were a few more pleasantries exchanged then the phone line went dead and Bruce held his breath hoping that Tony's little plan had worked. He let out a sigh of relief as the door to the cupboard slowly opened and a pale, nervous looking Pepper practically fell out shaking slightly. The physicist caught her gently and offered her what he hoped was a warm, reassuring smile which she tentatively returned as she clung on tightly to his lab coat.

"Y-you d-didn't...." Pepper's voice was weak and small.

"Of course not...." Bruce replied in a faintly incredulous voice, further strengthening the deception "You'd just woke up somewhere strange and new with people you didn't know. I can't blame you for reacting like anyone else would."

Wide blue eyes, pupils still slightly dilated stared up at Bruce brimming with trust and admiration; the sincerity of it all making Tony feel a little nauseous because eww emotions.

"If Daddy trusts you then I should trust you.... I'm sorry I kicked you." Pepper's voice was so tiny compared to her grown up self's it made Bruce's heart ache slightly. 

"I've had worse..." The physicist said softly, smile alighting his features "So don't worry about it."

The young girl still looked a little troubled by her outburst but it was quickly forgotten as she slumped to the floor, the last of her adrenaline finally running out. Bruce caught her with deft hands holding the youngster to his chest with an odd combination of affection and discomfort on his face. The sight of them made something twist in Tony's chest, a sensation the billionaire promptly ignored because there was no way he was dealing with that without copious amounts of coffee. 

He just wasn't.

"Is she... Okay?" Tony asked, eyeing Pepper dubiously.

The physicist nodded faintly still looking nightly uncomfortable holding the unconscious child in his arms.

"I think so..." His voice sounded slightly unsure " I think the shock of it all overwhelmed her a bit."

"You appear to be correct Doctor Banner..." JARVIS cut in, clearly trying to reassure them both "Miss Potts vital signs have stabilised and she appears to be slipping into a REM sleep as I speak."

Tony let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding.

"Well that's good." He muttered mostly to himself.

"Indeed Sir." JARVIS answered causing both men to jump. Tony because he hadn't thought the AI had heard him and Bruce because he hadn't heard Tony's mutterings.

"So.... What now?" Tony asked a little nervously.

Bruce shrugged, the motion hindered somewhat by the child sleeping in his arms.

"I think we should take a leaf out of Pepper's book and get some sleep. We've been down here..."

"Approximately eighteen hours thirty one minutes Sirs." JARVIS chimed in with mock helpfulness.

The physicist rolled his eyes "Uh, yeah... Thanks. We've been down here a while and I think we should tackle this problem fresh, better chance of figuring out what happened." 

His gaze drifted down to Pepper's peaceful, sleeping face and again Tony felt that twist in his chest, making him feel a bit like tossing his cookies. How fucking odd, he really hoped he wasn't getting sick or something and that it was just the product of not enough sleep.

"Okay, sleep, I can do that."

—*—

A few hours later found Tony and Pepper both curled up in bed (in separate rooms obviously) and Bruce half falling off the expansive couch in main lounge of Tony's penthouse, completely relaxed and snoring softly. The physicist had wanted to stay close by in case he'd been needed and had blushed and stammered when Tony had suggested them sharing a bed with a coy cock of his eyebrow.

JARVIS felt himself smile, well as much as an AI could smile.

He watched people, watched them every second they were within the tower and while most humans would find the task tedious and boring, the AI relished it; enjoyed it almost. He found it fascinating to see the different facets of humanity, to see composure and strength mixed with destruction and weakness, to see joy and despair mingled together in an moment of insight.

It was compelling to watch and none more so than with the trio below him.

Through them JARVIS had seen the very best and the very worst humanity had to offer and it made the AI all the more protective of them.

The current situation was strange certainly but not so much that it had caught the AI off guard. Indeed the life of Tony Stark had become an ode to the strange and bizarre ever since he returned from captivity and JARVIS was hard pressed to say that he didn't prefer it that way. This alteration of his creator's life path had stabilized him for the better, even if it occasionally meant that Tony and indeed JARVIS himself had to deal with things that defied the laws of science and nature. This situation being a prime example.

But for now there was peace and JARVIS intended to keep it that way for as long as possible, Sir and Doctor Banner could restore Miss Potts to her true formafter they were well rested. 

There was no rush.

 

*End Chapter One*


	2. Breakfast.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce and Pepper decide to make breakfast, Tony doesn't like being left out... Shenanigans ensue.

A/N: Sorry this took so long. I sort of went on an angst spree and forgot about this lighter story. 

 

Variety Is The Spice Of Life

 

Chapter Two: Breakfast. 

 

"...ctor... nner.."

 

"Doctor Banner!"

 

Bruce started from his prone position and tumbled off the couch landing in a rather undignified heap on the floor. He shot up narrowly missing his head on the monstrosity that Tony called a coffee table and glared at the ceiling.

 

"Whuzzit JARVIS."

 

"I believe that Miss Potts is waking up and I thought it best to inform you rather than Sir, I feel he would overwhelmed the young miss."

 

That immediately sobered the physicist and he got to his feet grabbing his glasses from where they were resting on the arm of the couch. He straightened out his clothes and walked towards the guest room of the penthouse, knocking gently on the door as to not startle the young girl. Yesterday had been an incredibly stressful day for the young Pepper and it was best to take it slow. 

 

"Virginia..."

 

"I-I'm here... c-come in."

 

Bruce slowly opened the door and stepped inside, flicking on the light. In the massive bed the girl looked completely swamped by the masses of linen and the physicist couldn't help but smile at the image. Pepper fought valiantly but in the end she just gave up and flopped back.

 

"This is stuuuupid. Who needs this many sheets?" The girl grumped, flailing her arms.

 

Bruce couldn't help himself, he started laughing earning himself a glare from the child. It took him a few minutes but he managed to wrestle his amusement back under his calm facade and moved over to extract Pepper from the excessive bedding.

 

"Tony is unfortunately under the impression that more is better..." He pulled off the quilt "I however am not under the same impression."

 

Pepper grinned, relieved to be free of her prison and jumped to her feet, the over sized t-shirt slipping off her shoulder. Bruce frowned realising that they didn't have any clothing for the girl but it seemed that the AI had read his mind. 

 

"Doctor Banner, I took the liberty of ordering some clothes for Miss Potts they should be in the entryway to the penthouse."

 

"JARVIS you are a lifesaver." Bruce said sighing in relief.

 

The young Pepper looked up at him with big wide eyes a look of surprise on her face.

 

"You got me clothes?"

 

"Uh, yeah..." Bruce answered lamely "You coming here was sort of a last minute thing and your Dad didn't have time to pack anything."

 

The child apparently believed his barefaced lie and Bruce felt like an utter cad. He really hated lying, especially to children but how was he supposed to explain this to a five year old. He was startled from his thoughts as a tiny hand slipped into his and Pepper was eagerly tugging him toward the door clearly excited at the prospect of new clothes.

 

Twenty minutes later found them back in the guest room with several bags full of clothes and for the look of wonder on Pepper's face alone it was worth it. She happily dived into the bags squealing in joy every time she came across something she liked pulling them out and pressing them against her to see what they looked like. Eventually she decided on a modest knee length dress, periwinkle blue in color accompanied by a pair of leggings and a cream cardigan. She spun in front of the mirror beside herself with happiness before attaching herself to Bruce's hip and hugging him. 

 

"Thank you."

 

The physicist grinned "Don't Thank me, Thank JARVIS."

 

Pepper looked confused "JARVIS?" 

 

"He's the AI... A really smart computer that runs the building, he's the one who ordered all this for you." 

 

The youngster looked bewildered for a second before turning her gaze upwards and flashing a dazzlingly bright smile. 

 

"Thank you JARVIS." She chirped happily and Bruce felt an odd rush of pride.

 

"You are quite welcome Miss Potts." JARVIS practically beamed back.

 

Bruce immediately pushed the odd feeling aside and cleared his throat, there were still a few things that needed attending to; for example breakfast.

 

"So Virginia have you thought about what you would like for breakfast?" 

 

~*~

 

About an hour later Tony stumbled into the kitchenette his eyes still half closed in sleep and nose stuck in the air sniffing at the wonderful aroma wafting from the general vicinity. There he found Bruce and a kid? What the hell was a kid doing in his penthouse? It took him a few minutes recall the events of the previous day and then his brain slotted the pieces together.

 

Lab. Explosion. Pepper.

 

A de-aged and definitely volatile Pepper who was... making pancakes ? Tony couldn't quite believe his eyes but the proof was right in front of him. Both she and Bruce were stood at the stove (Pepper balanced rather precariously on a stool) dropping thick globules of batter into a hot pan and making what appeared to be an unholy mess as they were doing so. Both man and child were covered in a fine dusting of flour and Bruce had batter mix smeared down one cheek. It looked so sweet and domestic that it was actually a little nauseating but Tony still found it endearing none the less. 

 

Then a very, very bad idea came into his head.

 

Grinning impishly he moved as silently as he could until he was behind Bruce, who was apparently completely engrossed in what he was doing and completely unaware of his surroundings. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the young Pepper grin deviously and very pointedly look ahead as to not give the game away. Tony mentally chuckled at that, he'd just known that the prim and proper Miss Potts had been a mischievous little shit as a munchkin. Before either of them burst into laughter and alerted Bruce ad to what was going on Tony lunged forward and swiped his tongue up Bruce's cheek wiping away the smear of batter.

 

The noise that erupted from the physicist's throat made it all totally worth it and Tony had it caught on fucking camera. This was already shaping up to be one if the best mornings _ever_.

 

Pepper started giggling madly, flicking batter everywhere as her body shook with laughter while Bruce spun around with an outraged look on his face; scattering flour everywhere and the barest hint of green in his eyes.

 

"Tony! What the he... Er what do you think you are doing!?"

 

The billionaire couldn't hold it in any longer he burst into laughter, clutching his sides in order to keep himself upright. Bruce flushed beet red frowning deeply and brandished the batter spattered spatula at the other man.

 

"I'm _serious_ Tony, what if something had happened and young eyes had seen things that she shouldn't have."

 

Tony dialled back the laughter and waved a dismissive hand at Bruce's comment. 

 

"You worry too much Big Guy, everything was fine and little Miss over there didn't see anything wildly inappropriate. All around it was win win, Virginia had some fun and I got that wonderful reaction in HD."

 

"Which if you know what is good for you, you will delete immediately." Bruce growled feeling a flash of annoyance. 

 

"Glorious, _glorious_ HD." Tony answered with a smirk on his lips.

 

There was a brief moment where there was utter stillness between the two of them and then the whole world was moving in slow motion Bruce flicked the batter coated spatula at Tony send a massive blob hurtling toward his face. Even if the billionaire had super-soldier reflexes he wouldn't have been able to dodge it and his face contorted in shock as the gooey mixture made contact. 

 

Again there was silence as Bruce realised what he'd actually done and he dropped the spatula on the floor.

 

"Tony, I'm sorry.... I wasn't thinking...."

 

The billionaire brought a hand up and wiped the batter from his face, licking it off his fingers before smiling his biggest, widest shit eating grin.

 

Bruce paled.

 

"Now Tony... It was an accident... there's no need to act childishly..."

 

"Oh no Banner you are both getting away with this, this means war."

 

That was exactly what Bruce had been afraid off.

 

"JARVIS lock down this floor, no one gets in or out without my say so."

 

"As you wish Sir." JARVIS replied clearly amused by the whole situation. 

 

"What? JARVIS? No!" Bruce squeaked in response but it was already far too late. 

 

Tony leapt forward and grabbed the bowl of batter that Pepper had been mixing and brandished the wooden spoon like a sword.

 

"You brought this on yourself Bruce." And he let fly with a spoonful of batter.

 

"Food fight!" Pepper crowed gleefully.

 

The room descended into chaos, Bruce was weaving his way around furniture dodging Tony's attempts to cover him in pancake batter. From her position perched on the stool Pepper was egging the billionaire on and taking a few potshots of her own whenever he got close enough clearly enjoying the silliness and as much as the physicist was loath to admit it, so was he. He hadn't felt this carefree in a long, long time and even Hulk was content to just sit back and let him enjoy this lighthearted moment.

 

Eventually Tony ran out batter and it was Bruce's turn to lead a counter-strike. In a pretty slick move he leapt across the large couch he'd been sleeping on mere hours before and tackled Tony to the ground straddling his waist to keep him in place. The billionaire fought back, smacking him gently with the serving spoon and making an unholy mess of everything it touched.

 

Bruce grinned evilly as he began to tickle the billionaire who squirmed and bucked against the onslaught. He was soon joined by Pepper who had decided that she didn't want to be left and had joined Bruce by sitting on Tony's stomach and tickled his ribs mercilessly. After about five minutes the billionaire had finally yielded and the pair had stopped their assault.

 

"Geez both fair..." Tony grumbled "How am I supposed to win against both of you?"

 

Bruce laughed slightly breathless "I don't think you are Tony, now since I won..."

 

"You cheated..." Tony pouted. 

 

"I still won regardless so the footage if you please... "

 

"Fine! You're all against me having fun, I was going to save it to troll Fury.. "

 

"Tony... " There was a warning tone in Bruce's voice and Pepper giggled.

 

"Okay, okay. JARVIS delete the footage of me scaring the living beejebus out of sourpants here. Honestly I don't know why I let you stay here, you ruin fun!"

 

Bruce laughed leaning back a little to give Pepper some more maneuvering room as she climbed off. "Because I can actually keep up with you and I quote 'save you from being surrounded by mediocrity.'"

 

Tony wiggled his hips to try and get the circulation going again, having Bruce sat on him was doing funny things to his body. "Well there is that but I could find someone else to do that."

 

Bruce rose an eyebrow "Really, you'll be able to find someone who can do that AND won't kill you within ten minutes hmm?"

 

And okay that was _kind_ of a low blow but the physicist honestly didn't care at this point he was having way too much fun teasing the billionaire caught beneath him.

 

"No fair Banner you play dirty." Tony whined.

 

"Always do" Bruce said with a hint more innuendo than he intended.

 

There was an awkward silence as the two men stared at one another both of them unsure how to react to that particular statement. 

 

"I'm sorry... That came out wrong... I.." His face felt like it was on fire but he a small part of himself was angry that he was backing down and falling back into old habits.

 

Tony smiled gently but Bruce could see the brittle edge to it. "It's fine Big Guy, really... You were just playing."

 

_Just playing._

 

The words made the physicists stomach twist in an unpleasant manner for some reason that he couldn't explain. He didn't get chance to analyse it any further because at that moment the door to the penthouse slid open revealing a slightly bemused looking Agent Romanoff.

 

"Well, well what on Earth is going in here?" She asked, eyes scanning the complete and utter chaos the penthouse suite was in and lingering for a moment longer than necessary on the two geniuses 

 

Confused as hell, mortified and completely at a loss Bruce jumped up and fled, Tony's voice echoing after him.

 

~ End Chapter Two~

 

  


	3. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bruce and Tony have a conversation about just what happened... Just not with each other and Pepper meets the infamous Black Widow.

 

 

Variety is the Spice of Life.

Chapter Three: Conversations.

 

If Pepper hadn't still been sat on his stomach Tony would have immediately jumped up and either chased after Bruce or (the more risky option) given Romanoff a piece of his mind. As it was he was going to have to use a little more discretion and dare he say it tact, carefully he grabbed Pepper around the waist and placed her on her feet before clambering to his own feet and glaring at Natasha. 

 

The spy still had the bemused look on her face as her gaze slid to the young girl who had cowered behind him.

 

"So Stark who's the kids or should I be asking whose is the kid?"

 

Tony bristled slightly as the young girl buried her face into the fabric of his pants clearly uncomfortable with the situation. He placed a comforting hand (at least he hoped it was comforting) on top of her head and tousled her hair before answering Natasha.

 

"The kid has a name you know, her name is Virginia, Virginia Potts."

 

Romanoff's mouth dropped open into an 'O' of surprise and Tony had to pat himself on the back for managing to shock the Black Widow, it was a hell of a feat and he would be sure to brag to Bruce later about... His mind came screeching to a halt.

 

Oh right, Bruce. Well that was a clusterfuck.

 

"Anyway Mata Hari what the fu..." He eyed the girl and mentally groaned, damn it being a responsible adult "...What are you doing here?"

 

Natasha, who had completely recovered from her shock by this point merely raised an eyebrow her arms folded demurely across her chest.

 

"Steve sent me, he hasn't seen you or Bruce for three days and you know how he gets when he thinks you're overworking yourselves."

 

Tony bristled slightly at the information and fought back the response that immediately sprung to mind, which may or may not have involved telling Natasha to go remove the ten foot pole from Cap's patriotic ass. Which now that he thought about it was _totally_ not a smart move, huh, even as a kid Pepper was having a positive influence on him.

 

"Oh... Well as you can see, I'm fine, Bruce's fine and if you'll excuse us me and Virginia kind of have some stuff to do." Tony's tone was snappish. 

 

The Widow remained unmoved her lips tugging down at the sides slightly. 

 

"Bruce didn't look fine and what was all..." She gestured around the lounge area with her hand "... This about?"

 

The billionaire honestly couldn't find the words because he didn't have any clue as to what had been going here either, it had just kind of devolved into something. A something Tony wasn't quite ready to take a closer look at because eww emotions and stuff.

 

"We were making breakfast." A quiet, steely voice answered. 

 

Tony looked down to his side where Pepper had stepped away from him and was outright _glaring_ at Natasha, he had to give the kid credit even de-aged she still had the balls of a fucking mountain lion. There were full grown super villains who wouldn't dare even thinking about glaring at Natasha Romanoff. Across the room the woman was staring at the child with a bemused look on her face.

 

"Oh Stark I like this one." 

 

Tony bristled slightly and put on a faux wounded air. "No, no, no you are to stay away from her La femme Nikita, I do not want you tainting this poor innocent child with your spy cooties or even worse turning her against me."

 

Pepper giggled beside him and the billionaire relaxed for all of three seconds before Natasha stalked over and crouched down in front of Pepper holding out her hand.

 

"Natasha Romanoff."

 

The kid took hold of Natasha's hand and shook it firmly. "Virginia Potts, nice to meet you."

 

"Ewwwww the cooties... " 

 

Pepper continued to giggle at Tony's antics while the Widow just rolled her eyes as she stood back up. 

 

"Well... If you ever need a break from this idiot just ask JARVIS, he'll know where to find me. It was a pleasure meeting you Virginia."

 

The child's cheeks turned slightly pink out of embarrassment but she gave Natasha a beaming smile and nodded enthusiastically, her eyes gleaming with a mixture of surprise and happiness. Natasha smiled back and the genuineness of it caught Tony off guard, he hadn't known the spy was actually capable of that particular expression but then again he could be a teeny tiny bit biased because of y'know her going all stabby, stabby in the neck on him at one point in time. He caught Natasha's gaze and she cocked an eyebrow as if she knew exactly what he'd been thinking at that precise moment and Tony tried his hardest to not look like the proverbial deer in headlights. He thought he'd done a pretty decent job to be honest.

 

The Widow threw him a cruel smirk and turned on her heel heading toward the door. 

 

"I'll go and let the others know the situation so be prepared for overprotective Cap being overprotective."

 

The billionaire grimaced "I was afraid you'd say that."

 

Natasha shrugged and waved as she walked out the door leaving behind a slightly despairing Tony and a curious Pepper, the youngster turned wide eyes up at the billionaire. 

 

"She was so cool..."

 

Tony snorted softly "Cool isn't what I'd call her, cold maybe but cool... nah."

 

Pepper stuck her tongue out at him looking completely affronted. 

 

"You're just a silly billy then."

 

The billionaire couldn't help himself he burst out laughing, that literally had to be the most innocuous thing he'd ever been called by Pepper and she had come up with some absolute _beauties_ in her time. Tony ruffled the kids hair and shook his head enjoying the squeak of protest and Pepper's frantic flattening of her hair.

 

"Come on short stack let's go see Bruce in the lab."

 

She grinned in response and grabbed the man's hand dragging him toward the door, while Tony somewhat feigned reluctance. He wasn't quite sure what he was walking into here but Tony had never been one to back down from an awkward situation. 

 

~*~

 

Bruce slammed the door to lab shut and slumped against it as he caught his breath and ran a slightly shaking hand across his heated face. He honestly didn't think he'd ever been this embarrassed in his entire life and that was including waking up butt naked in a foreign country where he didn't speak a word of the language. What the hell had just happened? One minute him, Pepper and Tony were playing around the next thing he was straddling Tony, one of his _best fucking friends_ and dare he say flirting with him? What the fuck was _wrong_ with him? 

 

In the back of his mind he could feel the Hulk's amusement, dry and somewhat condescending and Bruce growled mentally at his mental house guest. 

 

**_ Shut up Hulk. _ **

****

There was a ripple across his mind, a laugh Bruce realised. 

 

** Banner stupid. **

 

The physicist rolled his eyes sarcastically. **_Whatever you say Hulk._**

  

**Banner stupid AND blind.**

 

**_ Okay, officially not listening to you anymore.  _ **

 

The amused ripple flowed across Bruce's brain again but the Hulk fell mercifully silent and he was left to his thoughts once again. He stepped away from the door and moved towards his work bench asking JARVIS to switch on his workstation. The holograms sprung to life dusting the room in a faint opalescent glow and Bruce set to work. He pulled up the formula they'd been working on the day before his eyes narrowed in concentration, it was a compound they'd discovered during a recent fracas with yet another alien horde hell bent on claiming Earth as their own (and apparently selling it on as scrap when they were finished). 

 

What had been interesting about them had been their regenerative and shape shifting abilities due to a secretion from their bodies, admittedly kind of gross but deeply fascinating at the same time. Both he and Tony had been trying to break it down into it's component parts, trying to figure out what made it tick and what utilities it could have.... But so far all they'd found out was that it was nothing like they'd ever seen before and that it was incredibly volatile outside of it's hosts body.

 

As the whole mess with Pepper showed.

 

But if he wanted to fix it he needed to focus on the problem at hand and not _other_ problems, Pepper was priority one.

 

Bruce sighed.

 

He really needed Pepper here but that meant going to find her and more than likely Tony and he wasn't quite ready for that encounter just yet. Maybe he could get JARVIS to ask the girl to come down to the lab?

 

"JARVIS could you ask Pepper to come down to the lab? I need to take a few blood samples to see if we can figure out what happened."

 

"I believe Miss Potts is already on her way accompanied by Sir." The AI answered somewhat droll.

 

Bruce stilled, his hand clenching subconsciously at his side. So much for avoiding the encounter, _god damn it Tony_. 

 

"I.... Thank you JARVIS."

 

"You're welcome Doctor Banner."

 

Less than five minutes later the door to the lab slid open and Pepper bounded in dragging a grinning Tony behind her. She let go of the billionaire's hand and launched herself across the lab to latch herself onto Bruce's hip and for the briefest of moments the physicist froze at the contact; he still had a few teeny tiny issues with that kind of contact (the caring kind) although Tony had helped him immensely with it. He tried not to smile at the memory of Tony crowing "immersion therapy!" and promptly latching himself onto Bruce like a limpet for the entire fucking day but it was kinda hard not to. Gently he stroked Pepper's hair as she buried her face further into his pant leg.

 

"You missed breakfast... " Tony said wryly, a smirk curling his features.

 

Bruce felt the back of his neck heat up and he was sure Tony had caught it because his grin widened ever so slightly. 

 

"Well, I Uh had a sudden flash on inspiration on the... um problem we were working on." Bruce stammered out.

 

The billionaire's smile turned into something a little more sincere and he moved across the lab to stand beside him, keeping a careful distance between them. Bruce ignored the pang of disappointment that rose in his chest at the gesture. 

 

"Inspire away Big Guy." 

 

And shit, he really hadn't thought this through had he? His mind frantically tried to come up with a plan, a theory, _anything_ but it was doing it's best 'fucked if I know' impression and Bruce knew he was floundering. Then his eyes fell on Pepper and a ray of shined down on him, okay stall tactics time.

 

"I need some of Virginia's blood to check it first..."

 

If Tony noticed the deliberate stall he didn't mention anything and Bruce turned serious eyes on the youngster.

 

"It's really important Virginia, I wouldn't ask otherwise... "

 

Pepper really didn't look happy at the idea of having her blood taken but much like her adult counterpart she just nodded grimly a look of utter seriousness on her young face. It made something inside both men pull taut.

 

"Okay... I trust you."

 

The words felt like a physical blow and Bruce could see them having a similar effect on Tony; trust wasn't exactly something they were accustomed to especially from someone so fragile.

 

"Well then, let's get to work."

 

~End Chapter Three.~

 


	4. Can you say Awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!

Variety Is The Spice Of Life

Chapter Four: Can you say Awkward. 

 

The three of them spent the majority of the day in the lab only stopping for short periods to eat and refill on beverages and only generally at Pepper’s insistence. Bruce predominantly worked on the problem choosing to ignore Tony for the most part, which the billionaire replied in kind by fiddling with some of his projects (hell he wasn’t going to try and draw blood from that stone until after he’d figured it out for himself) after introducing Pepper or should that be reintroducing Pepper to the bots.

In hindsight that _probably_ was not one of the greatest ideas Tony had ever had.

The bots had adored Pepper right from the get go (which Tony was _totally_ not envious of in the slightest) even if the youngster had initially been a little wary of them. Of course all it had taken to break the ice had been a welding torch, a fire extinguisher and a particularly over zealous DUM-E and Pepper had found her new best friend. The billionaire might have been a little more appreciative of the situation if he didn’t have a ruined prototype and would probably be cleaning extinguisher foam out of his ears for a week but he suppose he could forgive it for the look of pure mischievous joy on Pepper’s face. He didn’t often see her older counterpart look so carefree.

That particular incident also had the added benefit that Bruce was at least somewhat acknowledging his existence again, with a wry smile and a smothered laugh which could only be a good thing.

Eventually though Pepper’s manic child energy ran out and she crashed out on one of the comfy couches hidden at the back of the lab, the bots circled around her like a pack of metallic guard dogs. It would have been kinda funny if the bots hadn’t looked so oddly menacing. The other side effect of this was that he and Bruce were now alone in the lab.

Perhaps it was time to draw the blood from the stone?

He turned to Bruce who was still hunched over a microscope peering down at the samples of Pepper’s blood and stopped, how on earth was he supposed to approach this?

He was saved from actually having to do anything by a knock on the glass panels that made up the entrance to the lab. Both men whirled around to see a smirking Natasha standing with her arms crossed nodding her head at the locked door. Tony rolled his eyes, Nat could pretty much get into any part of the tower she wanted lockdown or not (as this morning had proved) if she was showing a modicum of respect for procedure now it meant something was up.

“JARVIS let Charlotte in.”

From across the lab Bruce snorted quietly and shot Tony a small, apologetic smile.

The door to the lab swung open and Natasha sauntered in with what could only be described as an evil smirk on her face.

“I thought I best ask this time, didn’t want to walk in on anything that was going to scar me again.”

Tony felt the back of his neck heat up with embarrassment and he felt oddly annoyed by her insinuation that anything that he and Bruce chose to do would be scarring. Especially Bruce because goddamn the man was actually pretty damn wholesome all the time and why was he getting so offended on Bruce’s behalf? He was about to open his mouth and say something he would _probably_ regret but he felt a hand on his shoulder and it stopped him dead.

Bruce was stood beside him and Tony could see the red tinge of embarrassment on his cheeks, it made him want to slap Natasha for some reason.

“I’m sorry Agent Romanoff, we’ll try not to offend your delicate sensibilities in the future.”

The words were scathing and sarcastic but the billionaire could hear the uncertainty and self-hatred behind the words and it made his heart ache. Bruce deserved better than to be made to feel like shit over something so silly and it caused Tony’s protective instinct to flare up. The hand on his shoulder tightened and Tony turned his gaze toward the other man.

He looked so sad.

Like he didn’t deserve anything good, like home or friends or love and yeah Tony might be reading a _lot_ into a single expression but Bruce was his friend, his science bro and he deserved the best of everything even if things were kinda awkward between them at the moment. 

He would honestly give Bruce the whole damn world if he could. 

Natasha’s gaze darted between them, a thoughtful look on her face but whatever the spy was thinking she clearly wasn’t planning on sharing. Instead she gave a demure shrug looking completely unfazed by the whole exchange.

“Don’t worry about it Doctor, I’ve seen far worse in my time. Anyway Steve sent me down, dinner is ready and he’s not taking no for an answer, attendance is mandatory for everyone.”

Tony groaned at that, stupid Cap wanting to make sure everyone was OK, the caring asshole and beside him Bruce just shook his head in amused exasperation.

“We’ll be right up after we’ve woken up Pepper.” Bruce answered, releasing Tony’s shoulder and the billionaire could have sworn his shoulder burned where Bruce had been touching him.

Natasha seemed to accept this answer and turned on her heel heading back in the direction she came from, leaving the two men alone. Almost as soon as she'd left Bruce seemed to retreat back into himself and backed away from Tony like he couldn't trust himself not to do something stupid again. It's not as if Tony was completely innocent either, he'd started the whole thing off by licking Bruce's cheek but he honestly had no idea how to bridge the gap that was forming between them. 

It hurt more than he cared to admit. Things had always been so easy between them even at the beginning when they'd barely known each other and the more Tony learnt about the physicist the more he knew he wanted to keep the guy around, despite his breath taking anger management problems.

Gah! Why were emotions so hard? This was why he generally stuck to robots. No stupid over the top touchy feely shit.

He wished grown up Pepper was here, she was so fucking good at dealing with his fucked up emotions and telling him what the hell was going on in his head. Tony turned his gaze to the back of the lab and the tiny bundle of person laying across the old chemical stained couch and felt his heart ache a bit with longing. It wasn't the kids fault that he couldn't act like a regular, normal person and he had no right blaming her for something that was in no way, shape or form her fault but still he could do with some of those wise words of wisdom right now. Or failing that, a good kick up the ass.

The billionaire watched as Bruce gently shook the child awake, amidst what Tony could only assume were disdainful glares from the bots. He was also pretty sure that if _he'd_ been the one to wake Pepper then he would have ended up with more that just a slightly miffed look, the damn traitors. Pepper batted away Bruce's hand and turned over onto her side and Tony could just see the look of amused exasperation on his face. The one he'd used so many times when dealing with Tony.

Once again his heart ached but this time it was for Bruce not Pepper, he was so damn good with kids and the billionaire knew that he would have been a fantastic father if given the chance, it was so sad that no one probably ever would. He continued to watch as the physicist managed to coerce the girl to get up and quickly wash her face and hands before waking over to where Tony was standing.

"I think we're all about ready to head up, I was just explaining to Virginia that we aren't the only people who live here and that we occasionally get together to have dinner."

Tony looked down at the child, who was clinging to Bruce's leg like a life preserver and looking as if she was about to be dragged to the gallows. He offered her what he hoped was a reassuring smile and tousled her hair, smiling when she squeaked in indignation and tried to shoo his hand away.

“You got nothing to be worried about squirt, they’ll love you.”

Pepper’s expression lightened and Tony counted that as a win.

“You really think so?” She asked tentatively twisting her foot around like every clichéd child character ever.

“Kiddo if they don’t love you I’ll eat one of my very expensive hats.”

This earned him a small giggle from Pepper and a small, warm smile from Bruce, fuck yeah he could do this parenting shit.

“Pinkie promise?” Pepper asked holding out her finger

Tony was utterly floored by the display of trust and for a moment the billionaire just completely panicked, totally unsure what the hell he should do. Years of practice ensured that he didn’t actually show the panic but it certainly was there. After a moments hesitation he linked his pinkie with Pepper’s and shook it gently, feeling something twist in his chest. As a child Tony would have given anything to have that kind of trust in someone, Jarvis had been amazing but Tony had tried not to let himself get too close knowing that he could be dismissed on a whim. 

“Pinkie promise...” He parroted, trying to force down the lump in his throat. 

Pepper was overjoyed and moved from Bruce to latch herself onto Tony, squeezing as tight as she could around his middle before running to the elevator. Tony smiled a little stunned and caught Bruce’s gaze, the other man seemingly more relaxed than he had been in hours. Relaxed was a good look on the physicist and it radiated off of him like a wave, calming everything it touched.

“I think you’re her favourite.” Bruce teased and moved toward the elevator.

“Please, I’m everyone’s favourite.” The billionaire shot back.

Bruce let out that dry, quiet chuckle again and Tony felt his stomach flip in an odd way.

“Of course you are Tony.” He quips in return, voice full of sarcasm.

The billionaire can’t help but grin a bit at the snark but the thought lingers in his head. While he might be everyone else’s favourite, Bruce was _his_ favourite and he wondered if the other man would have a problem with that considering how badly today had gone at points. He shrugged and pushed the thought aside as he stepped into the elevator, an Avengers dinner _really_ wasn’t the best place to be distracted. 

~End Chapter 4~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn that chapter was hard to write! I hope it was at least coherent. The poor boys, constantly floundering in denial/ obliviousness let's hope someone plus their heads out of their asses soon.
> 
> Opnions would be greatly appreciated

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay so what do you think? I have a vague idea *Waves hands in a wibbly-wobbly fashion* where I'm going with this and it isn't going to be amazingly long but I'd appreciate feedback.


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